Up until a couple of weeks ago, I struggled with an intense feeling of inadequacy. Despite all my hard work and accomplishments, I had self-doubt and feared being seen as incompetent. It didn’t matter that my results, successes and wins said otherwise. It didn’t matter that I got positive feedback from clients, friends and even family; I still felt like a fake. I often wondered how I’ve been able to accomplish all that I have.
This struggle is known as ‘Impostor Syndrome (Impostor Phenomenon),‘ a psychological pattern where one doubts their accomplishments and fears being unmasked as a fraud, despite achievements and evidence of competence.
For many people, the more intense it is, the more they work hard, striving to prove that they belong there: In that class, in that role, in that competition, etc. Overperforming and overachieving to counter any perception of them not being worthy. While in others, they hide; they dim their light for fear of being unmasked as a fraud. A common thread, though, is the fear of advocating for themselves, feeling unworthy and not good enough, being unable to set healthy boundaries, going beyond what they should, and becoming ‘yes’ men.
So, how do you manage impostor syndrome?
Firstly, I want you to know that ‘healing is a journey, not a goal to achieve.’ Healing takes time, and it shouldn’t be rushed. The same concept rings true when dealing with impostor syndrome.
WHAT TO DO:
1. Get a diary and keep a weekly record of:
a. Every time you do something well.
b. Every time you do something right and have been acknowledged.
Regularly review this diary to affirm your achievements, especially when impostor syndrome casts doubt or tries to overshadow your successes. When you struggle with impostor syndrome, it becomes quite easy to discount or minimise your wins and accomplishments.
2. Challenge those automatic negative thoughts; don’t just accept them.
a. Ask yourself if the thought is true.
b. What evidence do I have to back up this thought?
c. Is there evidence to refute this thought?
3. Practise daily affirmation:
‘I am enough just as I am. I am capable, I am worthy, and I belong.
I bring unique strengths and insights to every situation, and my value is not defined by others’ perceptions but by my own truth.
My skills, experiences, and perspectives are valuable, and I trust myself to grow and learn every day.
I release the need to prove myself and embrace the truth that I am deserving of my achievements and opportunities.’
4. Please practise self-care and self-compassion. We are often our own worst critic.
5. Ask for help when you need it. It doesn’t make you less worthy.
6. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
7. Celebrate achievements and progress regardless of how little or irrelevant you think they are.
8. Know and accept that it is okay to make mistakes. Mistakes do not define your worth or value.
9. Be aware of your triggers; it could be someone in your circle you need to hold a conversation with or distance yourself from.
PLEASE NOTE:
Impostor syndrome doesn’t just appear out of the blue. Identifying and understanding the early experiences or beliefs that became the foundation for it, e.g., family dynamics, etc., can be helpful.